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Stone Cladding

Home improvements

You can't trust anyone these days. 
Take this Jesus.
Seemed OK. 
We asked him in,
just being neighbourly, the way you do. 

Over dinner he was pleasant enough
apart from his irritating habit
of turning the small talk into conversation. 
He even seemed keen to hear about
our plans for home improvements. 
So we showed him round. 

This was a big mistake.

When it came down to it
he wasn't interested
in the kitchen units,
or the bathroom tiles,
or the integrated home cinema and fridge,
but kept peering into cupboards uninvited
as if we had dry rot
and prizing up the edges of the carpet
as if we had woodworm

and finally disappeared into the cellar
heaven knows what he found down there
emerging with a hammer
and a pickaxe 
and a drill
and a pocketful of drawings
and smiling in a most alarming way said
I've just had a much better idea

and started smashing down the walls