wordsout
< ealing eagles >
Nanda's calypso
for
Nanda Griffioen, on her departure from London to work in Dublin, July
2013. Performed in the persona of Rustaman.
Well
you've
heard
the tale of how I came to be
with the club they call the Ealing Eagle
and how I learn to
run and have a lot of fun
and nearly everything was almost legal
but I've not told
you yet about the group I met—
some
were fast
and some were pretty—
legends
of the scene
of Ealing Green—
the first
members of the club committee!
of hair
who sometimes ran a couple of mile
and there was Kelvin
cool who was no-one's fool
except for Claire and Esme's smile
and Judith E the
social secretary,
she held the keys for the drinks and the pantry—
and
some Irishman
with a republican plan,
and I think his name was Kieran.
But
there was
someone dafter,
full of life and
laughter
and I would follow
after
wherever she led.
Her name was Nanda
and her plans were
grander
(though I couldn't
understand a
single word she
said...)
Well
Nanda is a
runner
and she's crazy as the night
as a coach she is a
stunner
and she's sure to set you right
She's the most
enthusiastic supporter
she's the great encourager
and she'll go and
run any marathon
just as long as it's as mad as her.
Well Loch Ness was a
monster
and in China she hit the Wall,
and at Margelland in
South Holland
she found the only hills they have at all
and when she first
took to the streets of London
it was longer than she reckoned
because she finished
that in four hours flat—
and another 42
second.
But now her days of
luck and ballots
has become a part of hist'ry
she
can qualify
automatically
and it really ain't no myst'ry
if you train like
Mohammed Farah
and you eat like a culinary sage
and you run for your
live all round the M25
then
you're
always Good For Age!
And now the coaching
staff at Eagles
have such a range of athletic charms
so Martin White, he
will put you right
about the proper way to pump the arms
and you should be
chuson Mr Richard Tuson
if your legs they are going too slow,
and Kelvin's not
sure what all the muscles are for but he'll get them all on video!
But
when you go to
Nanda
I hope you haven't
planned a-
-n evening where you
hope to stand a-
-t any kind of ease.
One Nanda session
will make a big
impression—
you'll
need to go to
confession
cos you'll be on
your knees!
Well now the British
have a reputation
for a certain . . . delicacy
and if they have to
tell facts about the bodily acts they do it euphemistically
and everybody on
these islands know
when mother nature says to pay a call
that an English Rose
goes to powder her nose
or just to freshen up,
that's all.
But the continental
female
is clearly not so shy—
she
will tell to you
what she's going to do
and exactly how and why
and so its not too
much for a girl who's Dutch
to make sure everybody understands
(I wonder if that's
why it's often
called the Nether-lands)
What Nanda said in
Brighton
was her intent to
enlighten
but was enough the
frighten
any sensitive Brit
and it may be naive
that
I do believe that
we should all be
relieved that
she didn't need
to . . . do anything more
substantial
But now Nanda's
leaving London
to cross the Irish Sea
it seems they've
got a drinking problem—
they
don't
drink
and
you'll find them
warm and welcoming
but be careful when it comes to football
just remember that
Dutch orange may not go down too well at all (at all).
(once our injuries have fully healed),
we wont forget to
stretch, and think of you
when we retch
after ten laps of the Lammas
field
We'll remember you
with love and joy
though we have to say with shame
there's still no-one
at all who can yet recall
how to spell your second name
is it any wonda
no-one will
understand ya
when speaking
Dublin-Dutch!
and you can never
leave us
for though this club
is mischeivous
it means too much!
in
the rain and the sun
get
that Ealing Feeling—
gonna
run and run and run
get
that Ealing Feeling
gonna
run and run and run!
Performed (as "Rustaman") at the New Inn on July 28, 2013. Nanda's running exploits were legendary and delightfully random, culminating shortly before she left London with her running around the circumference of London inside the M25 (though not all in one go) accompanied for different stretches by various Eagles.
She moved to Dublin with her job with drinks company Diageo (hence the references to a drink problem). Delicacy obliges me to remain silent about exactly how Nanda described the unfortunate personal accident that attended her run in the Brighton Half Marathon, but it will not be forgotten by those present.
This was sung for a select audience at the pub, so I had no compunction about later re-using some of the lines in Fly with the Eagles (2013 version).