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7
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Liz's
walk
for Alice Reynolds' Book of
Remembrance
The
path that edges Ealing's finest park
is
nine-tenths of a mile in length,
a
walk a teenage girl with friends
might
amble round in twenty minutes.
A
young woman—let's
say,
an Oxbridge graduate,
professional,
with a sharp, forensic mind,
wanting
to be the person in control—
might
stride it briskly, hardly noticing
an
older lady, slow, clearly disabled,
gripping
her sticks with fierce determination
step
after shaking step, cheered on by friends
to
circumnavigate this little patch of green
with
an act of will that's quite exceptional.
Diseased
cells and a random accident
brought
this about. Stuff happens.
She
did the physio. After a while she spoke
publicly
again, walked to the front at church
to
read the lesson. Consider it pure joy
when
you face trials of many kinds,
because
you know the testing of your
faith
develops
perseverance. From
her wheelchair
she
saw the potholes in the pavement, saw
how
long a damaged body takes to get
from
one room to the next; understood now
not
everyone is strong, nor meant to be,
that
fools not suffered gladly are still God's fools.
Outside
was struggle, inside she was the same:
dauntless,
unsentimental, generous,
frustrated
but never self-pitying,
one
change only brought on by answered prayer:
Lord,
give me patience, and give it
to me now!
There
was no miracle, except, as promised, that
these
three survived: her faith, her hope, her love.
Each
week at the Monday group, when it was time
to
pray, her prayers were always for her daughter:
perseverance
is no mystery
when those you love depend upon the outcome.
And
without trying, somehow she became
a
quiet advocate for the not-noticed,
holding
a mirror up to our assumptions:
don't
judge a person by appearances.
Unless
you knew her from before, or took your time,
you
wouldn't guess who you were speaking to.
Once
a year, till it got too difficult, she talked
to
trainee physios and therapists,
telling
them how the person in the body
feels
about it all. They gave her rave reviews.
It
must have been hard, I imagine, to give up
those
treasures of control and competence
on
which she'd built her management career.
Life
is growth, then learning to let go,
finding
that she could say "I appreciate
more
of the basic things we take for
granted."
Appreciating
every step, each day with Alan,
making
the most of their last summer,
with
the Maze on the Isle of Wight.
Yet
even at the end, ever pragmatic,
she
kept a measure of control and care,
made
sure her healthy organs would give hope
to
others when she'd no more use for them.
She
was not defined by disability
but
undiminished spirit and concern.
Whatever
you achieve in life now, Alice,
and
we hope it will be long and filled with love,
something
in it will certainly reflect
that
distant summer day when your mum walked
with
sticks, faith and sheer bloody-mindedness
three times around the edge of Walpole Park.
Liz Reynolds died in October 2014, aged 55, survived by her husband Alan and daughter Alice, having been disabled as a result of an operation to remove a benign tumour from her brain some years earlier. This poem was read at the Thanksgiving Service for her life at St Johns', West Ealing on November 7, 2014.
© Godfrey Rust 2014, godfrey@wordsout.co.uk. See here for permissions.