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To The Real World <
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Light
of
the world
For
two voices, with voice 2 in italics: version for one voice here
"Let
there be light", he said.
Ah, but what sort of light?
Allow
us
to introduce ourselves:
Senior Consultants,
Cherubim & Seraphim Technical Services.
Sound and lighting engineers by
appointment to the
Almighty.
Discount on all feedings of five
thousand or more
No
doubt
you’ll be familiar with some of our past
productions.
We did story of Noah.
Floodlit, of
course.
With subtitles.
one of our most successful features.
Not that there were many critics left
afterwards.
Low budget soap opera, but it ran and ran.
Forty years lit by a single pillar of
fire
But
that
was all before privatisation.
Lighting’s a tough business these days.
Lots of competition.
It’s a jungle out there in the desert.
sunlight, moonlight,
street light, neon light.
Budweiser Light
You’ve got to be in there
with this new-fangled electricity.
Well, that’s the current thinking.
And
now
this new script—
Strangest of the lot.
Don't know how he
conceived this one.
"Scene
1. Shepherds watching.
Enter Gabriel, with backing vocals."
Need a good clear sky for that.
Quick burst of heavenly host, then blackout.
Music from the Hallelujah Chorus?
it’ll have to be something by Cliff.
It was much simpler in Moses’ day.
"Scene
2. Wise men searching."
Shouldn't that be "Why are men searching"?
Ought to have direct
sunshine.
But these humans can’t look straight the sun.
We'll need the light of faith—
"Scene
3. King Herod’s Palace."
Well, someone's taken his grumpy pills this morning!
Torches will do for him.
Lots of flickering flames—
Herod needs to get used to working in
a hot place.
and the magi leave unnoticed by a side exit.
"Scene
4. A packed public house."
No problem getting atmosphere for
this:
Jukebox playing "Little Donkey."
TV in the corner showing rerun of David v Goliath
championship
fight.
Unable to get near bar."
Clearly they don’t drink Carling Black Label.
Artificial lights for this one.
People
don't want to see too clearly
And a big glowing EXIT sign:
"This way
for a stable
relationship.
"Final
Scene. The Nativity."
"Total darkness"?
Well there’s a challenge.
This must be God’s avant-garde period.
We should be grateful at
least he
doesn’t want us to
fill the
stage
Why does he do this, just when it
needs
a big
finale?
A show like this will get him
crucified in the ratings.
Never mind.
I’ve put in for the contract to light the Book
of
Revelation.
That’s bound to be a showstopper.
Hold
on, there’s one more stage direction.
"Enter the Light of the World."
Ah.
That should be quite effective.
Yes, that ought to do the trick.
I
wonder if St Michael has any vacancies
in merchandising?
(Sir) Cliff Richard is a UK singer with a career of frightening longevity. Performers elsewhere may want to choose an equivalent local musical legend, perferably one with songs with a Christmas association (in the US Elton John has been used).
St Michael was the Marks & Spencer retail brand name, famous in the UK but perhaps this line will not mean much in some other places. Suggestions for other angelic wordplays to use as the last line elsewhere are welcomed.
Originally
performed by
Typical performance time 3 minutes 15 seconds.
© Godfrey Rust 1992, godfrey@wordsout.co.uk. See here for permissions.