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Home improvements
You
can't trust anyone these days.
Take this Jesus.
Seemed OK.
We asked him in,
just being neighbourly, the way you do.
Over
dinner he was pleasant enough
apart from his irritating habit
of turning the small talk into
conversation.
He even seemed keen to hear about
our plans for home improvements.
So we showed him round.
This
was the big mistake.
When
it came down to it
he wasn't interested
in the kitchen units,
or the bathroom tiles,
or the integrated home cinema and fridge,
but kept peering into cupboards uninvited
as if we had dry rot
and prizing up the edges of the carpet
as if we had
woodworm
and
finally disappeared into the cellar
(heaven knows what he found down there)
emerging with a hammer
and a pickaxe
and a drill
and a pocketful of drawings
and smiling in a most alarming way said
I've had a much better idea
© Godfrey Rust 1982, godfrey@wordsout.co.uk. See here for permissions.