wordsout by godfrey rust
< st john's ealing >

Parish weekend limericks

from March 1999

Bishop Graham Dow
As a student we've heard Bishop Dow
was devoted to service—and how!
     He believed it was folly
     to fancy young Molly—
she's glad he's more liberal now.

As a bishop he's most skilled at leading
and preaching and praying and reading,
     but he's at his most wisest
     when travelling the diocese      
for they still haven't caught him for speeding.

Though the road may be uphill and stony
Bishop Graham will never be phoney:
     he will stare in the face
     of defeat with good grace—
just don’t ask him to cook macaroni.

Mark Rand
I think you should all understand
if you stop for a chat with Mark Rand
     that your chat may extend
     to a parish weekend
then it all starts to get out of hand…

Steve Taylor
Steve Taylor's a jolly good bloke
but wherever his name may be spoke
     theres always some tensions
     about his…dimensions  
so I'm not going to make that old joke.

For whenever the music group sing
there can be some...you know...bickering
     about which songs are best
     but Steve's not like the rest—
He's above all of that kind of thing.

Graham & Karen Taylor-Burge
If your pathway in life ever merges
with that of the Taylor-Burges
     and they tempt you play
     at mixed doubles one day
be strong: don’t succumb to the urges.

Mike & Kate Coulson
If you spend time at Kate and at Mike's
(that’s the Coulsons) I'll tell you what strikes—
     these most modern of souls     
     have reversed the old roles:
so she works, and he does what he likes.

Mark Sheard
I must say I was really not geared
to make fun of churchwarden Mark Sheard
     till I looked—yes it hurts—
     at his wardrobe of shirts—
I'm afraid it’s much worse than we feared.

Well his tastes may be stripey and starry
and his suits would best suit a safari
     but he isn't a slacker—
     it's not only Schumacher
drives round in a bright red Ferrari.

I can't remember what prompted these but they were written and read at the event at High Leigh on or about March 11th, 1999.